Sandy speaks on matters of life and mirth.
Monkeys are seldom present.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I've Dropped More Ts than You've had Hot Dinners

A friend of mine asked me a while back if she could write a paper on me, or rather, on my accent. I agreed, and she recorded me speaking. She wrote a paper, which included this transcript of the recording:

Sandy: “So I’m in Wal-Mart yesterday… and…no, this, like, was a couple weeks ago. Anyway, this was a while ago. I’m in Wal-Mart and I was trying to use the automatic cashier-less thing – the till. So I’m standing there and you have the swipe-y thing on the thing and it beeps so I have a Mar-, not a Mars Bar, sorry, I had a Milky Way as they call them in this country. And – ”

Jeanne: “Milky Way? What do they call them at home?”

Sandy: “Mars Bars.”

Jeanne: “Oh… okay.”

Sandy: “Yeah, exactly. So I swipe my Milky Way and I think, “Right, I’m going to eat this later,” so I put it in my pocket. And then the Wal-Mart, like, machine, like, starts, like, beeping and saying “You have not put the Milky Way in the bag,” and I was like, “um, okay.” So I take it out of my pocket and put it in the bag and it says, “There is something in the bag that was not swiped through the cash register.” I was like, “No I just…” So at this point I’m arguing with the machine. I’m like, it’s very annoying, like, “No, I can see that, ri-.” So then I realize at this point, so I take it out of the bag, swipe it, it goes, “You have been charged for three Milky Ways.” I was like, “No! I only have one! One Milky Way! It’s not even in two bits like back home!” So I get very irritated. I keep swiping it and it’s starting again and this woman behind me is obviously getting really really irritated. She’s like [imitates frustrated breathing]. And like, I, I’m getting really… you know, I’m a newcomer in this country, I don’t know what I’m doing. So eventually I think, “Alright, alright,” so then I turn around to her and I’m like, “Listen love, I’m really sorry but I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t understand it.” And she looks at me, she’s like “Oh you’re English! Let me help you!” And she does this amazing... I’m sure she was launching a space shuttle or something and I’m sure it undercharged me as well so I was really excited. Put it in the bag, pick it up and leave.”

I'm somewhat ashamed.