Sandy speaks on matters of life and mirth.
Monkeys are seldom present.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

That's What She Said!

So recently I ran out of space on my Facebook Wall for quotes. Clearly my friends are just too full of ridiculous misstatements for the internet to handle.

So what do I do about this? Do I stop cataloguing the madness and idiocy that spews from the mouths of my friends, family and random people I meet?

Certainly not. I'm just going to list all the old ones here and start a new collection. I feel like it's my obligation to history.


"This is my mate...Rumplepuss" - Jamie McKale

"I know what you did last sugar!" - Rumplepuss

"In Britain, when we stick our fingers in a socket, we take the pain!" - Myself

"James Blunt was in the army, wasn't he? He was a general, right?" - Sagan Leasure

"I'm wearing a sweater-vest - I can do whatever I want!" - Lostro

"So me and Bill just had a race. I was peeing and he was was a photo-finish!" - Andy W

"I'm not a lesbian - I love boys!" Erin

"I once kicked a monkey so hard he landed in three different a furry watermelon." A horse

"No offence, Sonny, but around're a parasite." - Al - Assigment:Outer Space!

"I'll race you to Baby Jesus!" - My dearest sister on Christmas Morning.

"Ninja Jesus Stealth Attack" - Myself.

"She has a specially tailored skirt that allows her to take a stride of exactly thirty inches." - Mission:Impossible

"I'm choking on my own language." - Myself

"Death by accent." - Bill

"Erin Mikulecky - Conversation Assassin." - Myself

"No, BananaFingers! NO!!" - Erin

"You're wrong coz I'm Sandy Radford!!!!" - Ravi

"Orlando! Orlando! Orlando!" - Myself

*Phone rings, I answer"
Me: Hey Mark, how are you?
Mark: I'm fine. I just called to let you know I'm driving to Ohio.

"I'm going to give this movie the highest accolade I can think of - I'm going to put it under 'favorite films' on Facebook!" - Bill displaying a fine sense of what is important in life.

Ravi: That's a terrible storyline!
Sandy: This is Backstreet Boys porn - what did you expect, Jane Austen?
Ravi: Well, yes!

"Summary: Methilde and Nick are out on their boat. Having fun. Then a shark attacks them." - Backstreet Bauhaus

Sandy: I first knew Chris was a bad ass when I came in and he was playing "Sweet Dreams Are
Made of This."
Ravi: I first knew Chris was a bad ass when I heard him playing Benni Benassi out of those awesome speakers.
Mark: I first knew Chris was a bad ass when I did those lines of coke with him.

Akshaya to Mazan: You scam on boys like Rav scams on girls!
Rav: Excuse me, I scam on girls *and* boys!

"Sandy, if your sister is as hot as you are, I couldn't keep my hands off her!" - Andy W

"Everything cool, Marcia - Rude Boy don't fear." - Priest, *Dancehall Queen*

"Don't screw with my disco, Nadine." - Harold, *The Stand*

"I'm so excited about going to New York - we're going to see the LAPD!" - Rav

Me: My cousin just went into labour.
Erin: With a baby?
Me: No Erin, the other kind of labour...of course with a baby!

"It's a soup opera!" - Nalini

"Sandy, you're a boogerfingers!" - Jeffrey

"Que Sera Sera, Douchebags!" - Tony Snow

"Boy, it sure is dark in here with the lights off." - Esther Smith, *Meet Me in St Louis*

"You'd be like 'click'! And I'd be like 'BAM'!" - Erin on what would happen if I sent an email from her account.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Musings on Finality

I'm swiftly approaching the endtime.

My time in Illinois is nearly over.

What made this really sink in was the realisation that I will only be going to church five more times. I'll only work five more Mondays at the ICL. I'll only have five more chances to go to Joe's. I'll only...well you get the idea. The point I'm trying to make is this:

I don't think that I'm ready to go home yet.

I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye to my friends, not just for a holiday, but for much longer, and in some cases, possibly forever. I don't think I'm ready to admit that this chapter of my life is coming to a close, that all my excitement about the NFL draft is in vain, because I won't be watching the games with my friends, that all my friends deciding where to live is totally irrelevant to me because I'll be living five thousand miles away, that all the exciting things my church is going to do will happen without me...I'm just not willing to accept to accept these facts right now.

The way I've decided to compensate for this, however, is to cram as much into my last few weeks as I can. From late night conversations to shopping trips, ridiculous numbers of coffee-dates to rehearsals, I'm not going to let these weeks slip away from me like February and March did. I may not have much time left here, but I'm going to make the most of it.

So if you're a friend of mine in the Illinois area, expect to be hassled. These last days are going to count.