Sandy speaks on matters of life and mirth.
Monkeys are seldom present.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Musings on Finality

I'm swiftly approaching the endtime.

My time in Illinois is nearly over.

What made this really sink in was the realisation that I will only be going to church five more times. I'll only work five more Mondays at the ICL. I'll only have five more chances to go to Joe's. I'll only...well you get the idea. The point I'm trying to make is this:

I don't think that I'm ready to go home yet.

I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye to my friends, not just for a holiday, but for much longer, and in some cases, possibly forever. I don't think I'm ready to admit that this chapter of my life is coming to a close, that all my excitement about the NFL draft is in vain, because I won't be watching the games with my friends, that all my friends deciding where to live is totally irrelevant to me because I'll be living five thousand miles away, that all the exciting things my church is going to do will happen without me...I'm just not willing to accept to accept these facts right now.

The way I've decided to compensate for this, however, is to cram as much into my last few weeks as I can. From late night conversations to shopping trips, ridiculous numbers of coffee-dates to rehearsals, I'm not going to let these weeks slip away from me like February and March did. I may not have much time left here, but I'm going to make the most of it.

So if you're a friend of mine in the Illinois area, expect to be hassled. These last days are going to count.