And so the future is upon us...

...or at least me.

I got my degree result yesterday. Suffice to say I was very happy with it.

The only thing is that now I'm...well, done.

As in done for good.

I'm never going to study at Edinburgh University again. (And, if I'm honest, that's probably it for organised learning in general.)

I guess I hadn't realised how much my university experience shaped my life. I think of years as starting in September and ending in June, I'm always thinking of the next exam, the concept of staying in one place for more than a year seems insane, and having a regular work schedule is something I just can't get my head around.

And yet here I am, done with university, heading inescapably towards gainful employment, with the prospect of staying in Edinburgh for a good few years.

And I'm totally fine with that.

Life is pretty good right now.

Maybe I'm Just Growing...

I think I'm growing up.

It was Eric's wedding yesterday. The Eric in question being Eric Hanna, my former flatmate and good friend. And now he's married.

I should be more freaked out by this.

In the run-up to the wedding, people kept asking me 'don't you find it weird?' or 'does it make you feel old?', and I laughed them off, saying that Eric was a special case - that we had long felt he had been born at the age of forty, and that marriage was inevitably going to happen sooner, rather than later. The truth is though, that I think it didn't bother me because I'm growing up.

What? Did I just write that?

I have pulled out the old adage so many times - "I have to grow old, I don't have to grow up", and to an extent it's true. I still say and do really stupid things, still laugh over-loudly at simple jokes, and today at church I spent ten minutes making faces at somebody else's baby. I still love watching cheesy sci-fi TV shows, and drawing moustaches on photographs in the newspaper. I still get excited about colouring in, and I still hold tightly to the childish hope that Newcastle United might actually win...something before the 50th anniversary of our Fairs Cup win.

What this doesn't change, however, is that I am actually maturing.

What, me? The person who still thinks the highest form of humour is tapping someone on the shoulder and then hiding? The person who spends most of his shift at work singing and coming up with ridiculous nicknames for the kids? The guy who once invented an entire imaginary rock band and who has spent the years since trying to convince people they exist?

Yeah, me.

I have duties now. People who look up to me, people who I'm in charge of, people whom I'm
responsible for, a good job, great prospects, and a whole lot of stuff to do with my life. And you know what? I'm loving it.

I think I'm growing up.

Don't get me wrong - I don't intend to stop doing any of the ridiculous things that I do now. I don't intend to become a 'suit' or to sell out to the man (or given my chosen career path, the woman). In fact, I intend to be the same person I always was...just doing a bit better at it. I have no intention of turning into someone who counts the pennies (Unless it's for change for the bus) and complains about the youth of today. Frankly, I'm not that keen on leaving the youth of today.

I guess that I'm switching the adage around. I guess I'm not keen on growing old, but maybe, just maybe growing up might be OK.

I'm Wrong, Because I'm Sandy Radford!

Sometimes, it's really nice to be wrong.

Those of you to whom I talked to about it know that I was incredibly negative about returning to Edinburgh before I did so. I felt like I was back-tracking, that all my friends would have moved on, that classes were going to be awful, that, frankly, I just wasn't going to enjoy it at all.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I made what turned out to be an amazingly smart decision to come back very early, before most of my friends had returned to the 'Burgh. This meant that had time to hang out individually with all of my friends before others got back, and meant I didn't feel left out of some kind of clique. Which probably wouldn't have happened anyway, but this way was fun anyhow.

Work is great fun. Any job in which they pay me to work with great people, help kids learn and just generally dance around making a fool of myself is OK in my book. Added to that is the fact that I'm in the process of applying for a full-time, salaried position for the same company in a managerial role, and suddenly my life seems to be getting very adult. Yikes!

Now on to the most surprising thing - I'm actually enjoying my course. I've started to specialise in Language Production and Psycholinguistics, and in every one of my lectures I'm thinking to myself "How the Hell am I enjoying this so much?" and yet I am! I never thought I could be so interested in speech errors.

I am such a loser. :D

Church is also amazing. I'm taking on a leadership role this year, which is very scary, but also very exciting. I'm looking forward to it greatly, and I expect not only to help people, but also to get a heck of a lot out of it - I've always been best when thrown into the deep end.

Also, I'm thinking of coming out to Chambana in early March - will be people be around?

Looking to the Future...

Well, I made it home. At least for a while.

I'm currently staying at my parents' house in Durham for a couple of weeks - I'm back home to Edinburgh on Wednesday, and back to work on Friday - hurrah! Not sure when classes start - quite a ways away, I think.

It's going to be a bit going back to classes at Edinburgh - I haven't been to a lecture there since March 2006 - well over a year ago. In that time, a lot has changed - in the world, at Edinburgh, and within me. I almost feel like I'm backtracking in going back to Edinburgh. I know it's the right thing to do, I just don't think I'll appreciate it for a while.

Switching to full-time Psychology should be interesting - as I go to a Scottish University, and spent my third year in America, my final year will be the first year that I won't be studying other subjects outside my major. I'm not quite sure how I'll handle it - I'm sure I'll figure it out, although if my fourth year curriculum doesn't improve on the second year stuff, I might go completely insane.

It's also starting to get to the point where I need to think about *gulp* life after University, aka The Real World. My current aim is still to emigrate to the United States as soon as I'm able - in an ideal world, Chicago, but Philadelphia is a more likely option, due to my contacts there. The next year is going to pretty hectic, what with looking for a job, working, classes and writing a dissertation - ah well, at least I won't get bored, eh?