Another few months, another bunch of awkward, hilarious, inspiring and meaningful quotes. But mostly just awkward ones.
"Stop putting s**t on our bodies, David Blain!" - From David Blain: Street Magic!
"They're not just Eagles, they're like...Big Eagles!" - Myself
"Yeah, you're going to miss us, but at least you can wave at the plane!" Rav
Me: So they got busted by the Park Rangers
Mark: Queens' Park Rangers what?
"She don't screw my friends
And she cleans up my house
All of this love girl is creeping me out!" - Ima Robot, *Creeps Me Out*
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave; he has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who risks is free. - "Risks"
"What you do may be unimportant to anybody, but it is significant that you do it." - Ghandi
"Nik Myers already has a pending relationship request. This must be resolved before another request can be made." - Facebook clearly isn't run by Mormons.
Apewhale (17:19:22): are we going to make lots of farm puns now?
OsoGeist (17:19:39): I don't know but stop being a hoe
OsoGeist (17:19:50): which works both ways
OsoGeist (17:20:00): like a bisexual
Apewhale (17:20:10): or a combine harvester
- Oh the hilarity of AIM
Guy 1: I know how many letters there are in the alphabet
Guy 2: May I sub-respond before you finish?
Guy 1: Sure
Guy 2: Do you?
- I love Sonic Ads
"Look at all these people, there are wearing all of the clothes mankind has ever worn!" Krisse, on the Eurovision Song Contest
"You wanna KISS me!" - Erin
Me (Reading Headline): Workers rescues from giant vat of fish feces.
Nik: The Onion?
Me: No, CNN.
"The leaders of the US and UK...or as I like to call them "Primesident Blush" - Jon Stewart, The Daily Show
"You don't know a handful!" - Sarah Sidle, CSI
"My hair has more volume than a pensioner's telly." - Russell from Five US
"im gong spratly to nil" - Andrew on MSN.
"It's four in the morning, Mr Wilder. Do you know where your children are?" - Lieutenant Flores, Runaways
"He was with that guy, you know the one who won that thing at the thingie." - Fran showing her loquacity.
Me: Martin, we don't any Lionel Richie!
Martin: NO! Everyone has SOME Lionel!
"You know, those helper monkeys that answer the phone for you." - Fran rather overestimates the abilities of the average monkey.
Simon: Have you seen my DI box?
Sandy: I put it by your computer... [long pause]...and by computer I meant cello case.
"I am whatever you say I am. If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?" - Eminem
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
That's What She Said! Part II
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
That's What She Said!
So recently I ran out of space on my Facebook Wall for quotes. Clearly my friends are just too full of ridiculous misstatements for the internet to handle.
So what do I do about this? Do I stop cataloguing the madness and idiocy that spews from the mouths of my friends, family and random people I meet?
Certainly not. I'm just going to list all the old ones here and start a new collection. I feel like it's my obligation to history.
THE LIST
"I know what you did last sugar!" - Rumplepuss
"In Britain, when we stick our fingers in a socket, we take the pain!" - Myself
"James Blunt was in the army, wasn't he? He was a general, right?" - Sagan Leasure
"I'm wearing a sweater-vest - I can do whatever I want!" - Lostro
"So me and Bill just had a race. I was peeing and he was pooping...it was a photo-finish!" - Andy W
"I'm not a lesbian - I love boys!" Erin
"I once kicked a monkey so hard he landed in three different trees...like a furry watermelon." A horse
"No offence, Sonny, but around here...you're a parasite." - Al - Assigment:Outer Space!
"I'll race you to Baby Jesus!" - My dearest sister on Christmas Morning.
"Ninja Jesus Stealth Attack" - Myself.
"She has a specially tailored skirt that allows her to take a stride of exactly thirty inches." - Mission:Impossible
"I'm choking on my own language." - Myself
"Death by accent." - Bill
"Erin Mikulecky - Conversation Assassin." - Myself
"No, BananaFingers! NO!!" - Erin
"You're wrong coz I'm Sandy Radford!!!!" - Ravi
"Orlando! Orlando! Orlando!" - Myself
*Phone rings, I answer"
Me: Hey Mark, how are you?
Mark: I'm fine. I just called to let you know I'm driving to Ohio.
"I'm going to give this movie the highest accolade I can think of - I'm going to put it under 'favorite films' on Facebook!" - Bill displaying a fine sense of what is important in life.
Ravi: That's a terrible storyline!
Sandy: This is Backstreet Boys porn - what did you expect, Jane Austen?
Ravi: Well, yes!
"Summary: Methilde and Nick are out on their boat. Having fun. Then a shark attacks them." - Backstreet Bauhaus
Sandy: I first knew Chris was a bad ass when I came in and he was playing "Sweet Dreams Are
Made of This."
Ravi: I first knew Chris was a bad ass when I heard him playing Benni Benassi out of those awesome speakers.
Mark: I first knew Chris was a bad ass when I did those lines of coke with him.
Akshaya to Mazan: You scam on boys like Rav scams on girls!
Rav: Excuse me, I scam on girls *and* boys!
"Sandy, if your sister is as hot as you are, I couldn't keep my hands off her!" - Andy W
"Everything cool, Marcia - Rude Boy don't fear." - Priest, *Dancehall Queen*
"Don't screw with my disco, Nadine." - Harold, *The Stand*
"I'm so excited about going to New York - we're going to see the LAPD!" - Rav
Me: My cousin just went into labour.
Erin: With a baby?
Me: No Erin, the other kind of labour...of course with a baby!
"It's a soup opera!" - Nalini
"Sandy, you're a boogerfingers!" - Jeffrey
"Que Sera Sera, Douchebags!" - Tony Snow
"Boy, it sure is dark in here with the lights off." - Esther Smith, *Meet Me in St Louis*
"You'd be like 'click'! And I'd be like 'BAM'!" - Erin on what would happen if I sent an email from her account.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fungus
You know, sometimes old clichés are actually true.
They say that sometimes you have to leave something behind to realise how much you love it.
(They also say that bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly, but hey 'they' can't get everything right.)
So I was volunteering at a Study Abroad Fair the other day (hey, it's not like my courses give me any work). I was there to represent Edinburgh, and convince people to take a semester or a year abroad there. Well, I did that for a while, and it was fun, but there were two of us, and I noticed Newcastle didn't have anybody. So I switched over to Newcastle, and started plugging that.
And wow. I have never realised quite how much I love Newcastle, and the North-East in general. As I spoke, I realised I wasn't exaggerating a single word. Now that doesn't mean that I regret leaving - not in the slightest. Edinburgh is awesome, and Illinois is fantastic. It just makes me a little bit sad that I'm unlikely to spend more than three weeks at a time there ever again.
My life, or at least the next few years of it, is starting to come together in front of my eyes, which is nice - although also incredibly petrifying. I may be returning to America a little sooner than I thought, although to a totally different place than I expected. But I'll tell you more when I know details.
Well, that was mysterious.
In other news, the room I share with Chris has become known as 'The Embassy'. Who knows why. Still, we made a Facebook group, so if you want to see pictures of life in Illinois, then that's the place.
My addiction to American Football is growing stronger. (Yes, I called it 'American' Football - deal with it.) On Sunday night, I really wanted to watch the Colts vs Giants game, but I also really wanted to go to church.
DILEMMA!
So, most normal people would've just shrugged their shoulders and resolved to watch the highlights on YouTube. (That's the football, not the church service.) Not me. No,I got my friend to TiVo it, and then went over to her's immediately afterwards to watch it. (While making sure she screened my calls so that no-one could ruin the score for me.) Thanks Kirsten, you're a legend.
I also went to see the University American Football (We won, but not against a great team.) and the real Football. (Again, we won, this time 4-0). It was refreshing seeing 'soccer' (urrggghhh...) again. I think me and my other British friend enjoyed ourselves a little more than the rest of the crowd. We were the only one's standing up, and I think we confused the other fans by nicknaming the girls based on famous European football players. (Especially when I decided to yell "Pass it to Nedved!" across the field.)
I feel like I'm some kind of talisman. Notice how Illinois have a perfect record at games I attend? Now contrast that with the American Football game at Rutgers, which we lost 33-0.
I wonder if watching it on TV counts?